It's hard to count the hand when I play against little old ladies.
They always bid their longest suit 5 times- once for each card in it.


The Best Play by a Little Old Lady
(from Victoria Regional)

I have decided to try my luck at the Victoria Regional. It has seemed to be nothing but bad luck, however, ever since I got on the ferry to cross to the island. No smoking in the shore restaurant; no smoking in the car bay; no smoking on the ferry except outside on the wet upper decks; no smoking in the convention centre. But not all has been bad for me this trip­ I've played some good bridge and I've been able to smoke in the restaurants in Victoria.

It is Saturday evening, and I am playing in a side game with a lovely young lady­ an acquaintance of mine from Vancouver. I am confident that she can hold her own, but I am worried that her beauty may distract me. At least I'll know who to blame when I revoke.

Our game was fine until we sat against a particular pair of little old ladies. The first of our two board set was pretty normal, but I knew when I picked up the following, things would be more lively.

Vul: Us
Dlr: Righty
S 5  H J 9 7 5 4 3  D A 5  C 10 7 6 4

Righty starts with a PASS. This hand does not qualify for a weak two­bid in our style, so I follow suit with her. Lefty opens ONE DIAMOND followed by a ONE SPADE overcall by partner. Now comes an unsure ONE NOTRUMP by righty. What should I do?

I have two real options: Pass or 2H. Pass may not find our side's heart fit, but 2H is an overbid in terms of values and may get our side too high. I choose the conservative action and PASS.

Lefty now bids TWO DIAMONDS with an authoritative snap! of the bidding cards, which scares my partner into PASSING. I'm all ready to balance with 2H when all of a sudden, righty comes out with THREE DIAMONDS! I am now feeling sorry for not bidding my hearts earlier, but I can't stand to enter the auction at the three level when vulnerable, so I PASS. Actually, so does everybody else, and partner leads the C8.

Vul: Us
Dlr: RH­LOL
 
 
 
RH­LOL (dummy)
S J 9 3 2
H K 2
D K 9 2
C A J 9 2
RH­LOL

Pass
1NT
3D
ME

Pass *
Pass **
Pass ***
LH­LOL

1D
2D
Pass
PARD

1S
Pass
Pass
PARD
 
C8
 
 
ME
S 5
H J 9 7 5 4 3
D A 5
C 10 7 6 4
    * - Not our weak two­bid style.
  ** - Perhaps I should have bid here.
*** - I'm done... so very done.
 
 
LH­LOL
 
 
 
 

What a generous dummy!
I guess this particular little old lady forgot that this is an opening bid.
She probably also forgot that her 1NT response shows 7 to 10 points and that 25 points are enough for game.
She has put down a grade A dummy.

The C8 goes to the C2, C7 and CK. Since the C8 is the highest club spot that is unavailable to me, I am sure that declarer has the CQ in her mitt, but I am not sure whether partner started with a singleton or a doubleton. Declarer now plays the D6 and partner plays the D3. Without a heartbeat, declarer calls low! I am simply amazed (not to mention a little disgusted) to be forced to win this trick with my DA.

I am now faced with the bothersome task of reading this position and finding a decent return.
Partner could have led her stiff club or maybe her doubleton.
It might be best to go after spade tricks and spade ruffs or just to give partner her club ruff and call it a day.
Declarer's diamond play was informative and may help me work out the position.

What do you think about the position?


The Fallible Genius - a chronicle by Brad Bart
April 21, 1998