Emphasis
Review
Where we have been…
- Actions
- Make the actual action in the sentence the verb. Mention it early. Generally avoid nominalizations.
- Characters
- Make the actual character in the sentence the subject. Mention it early.
Review
- Cohesion
- Make sure sentences start with familiar topics/information.
- Coherence
- The main topics of sentences in a paragraph (≈ first few words) should be a small number of related things.
Sometimes these require occasional passive voice and/or nominalization.
Review
All of these have had one thing in common: they talk about what should go at the beginning of a sentence.
What should happen at the end?
Complexity
Both sentences follow many of the guidelines we have seen:
Lincoln's claim that the Civil War was God's punishment of both North and South for slavery appears in the last part of his speech. Williams & Bizup, 11th ed, p. 81
In the last part of his speech, Lincoln claims that God gave the Civil War to both North and South as a punishment for slavery. Williams & Bizup, 11th ed, p. 81
Which is easier to read?
Complexity
The character and action seem far off:
In the last part of his speech, Lincoln claims that God gave the Civil War to both North and South as a punishment for slavery. Williams & Bizup, 11th ed, p. 81
But, if we ignore the simple introductory phrase (In the… speech
), then not really.
The God/War/punishment/slavery part is complex: it's easier to handle later.
Complexity
Another example, with complex ideas early in the sentences (assuming we know what agglomerative clustering
and divisive clustering
are going in):
In the general case, the complexity of agglomerative clustering is O(n3), which makes them too slow for large data sets. Divisive clustering with an exhaustive search is O(2n), which is even worse. However, for some special cases, optimal efficient agglomerative methods (of complexity O(n2)) are known: SLINK for single-linkage and CLINK for complete-linkage clustering. Wikipedia, “Hierarchical clustering”
Complexity
Complex sentences can come from either grammatical complexity, or complex ideas. Either can make it hard for the reader.
Generally, move the complexity later in the sentence. Start familiar and move to the complex.
Complexity
As before: start with familiar ideas. Now we'll try to move complexity toward the end of sentences:
Agglomerative clustering is too slow for large data sets, with general-case complexity O(n3). Performing divisive clustering is even worse, because it requires an exhaustive search and takes O(2n). For some special cases however, agglomerative methods which are both optimal and efficient are known: SLINK for single-linkage and CLINK for complete-linkage clustering.
Complexity
After you have started with a familiar topic, the rest of the sentence can be quite complex, since at that point the reader will be oriented and able to follow more easily. As long as they start with simple context, you can write more complex sentences and vary your sentence structure to avoid having a long series of overly-simple sentences.
Stress
Stress
In this example…
Technical writing is performed by a technical writer and is the process of writing and sharing information in a professional setting. Wikipedia, “Technical writing”
Topic: technical writing
. Action: performing
(passive voice).
But what's the actual important takeaway message?
Stress
Compare:
Technical writing is performed by a technical writer and is the process of writing and sharing information in a professional setting. Wikipedia, “Technical writing”
Sharing information in a professional setting is the goal of a technical writer, who performs technical writing.
What are you supposed to take away from each?
Proposal: in the first sentence, sharing information in a professional setting
is the important thing you learn. In the second, it's performs technical writing
.
Stress
The first few words of a sentence should set the topic and character.
The last few words are the part that's stressed (or emphasized). That's where readers should find the most significant stuff.
Stress Diagnosis
If the end of the sentence is what the readers stress, we want to move the important ideas there.
Some thoughts about how to do that…
Stress Diagnosis
Trim unimportant stuff from the end of your sentence.
Frequent exercise is good for you, particularly daily exercise.
Frequent, particularly daily, exercise is good for you.
Frequent exercise is good for you.
Frequent exercise is good for you. Daily exercise is even better.
Stress Diagnosis
… particularly watch for the lame qualifier at the end.
Green is the new red, in my opinion.
Green is the new red.
Who else's opinion could it be? If it's clear from context that it's an opinion (not fact), then don't bother weakening.
Stress Diagnosis
Move less important ideas toward the beginning of the sentence
Green is the new red, in my opinion.
In my opinion, green is the new red.
The quick qualifying phrase isn't too distracting from the subject.
Or it makes the sentence about your opinion, which may also be reasonable.
Stress Diagnosis
Another example:
The name Canada is now accepted as coming from the St. Lawrence Iroquoian word kanata, meaning “village” or “settlement”, but in the past, a variety of other theories have been postulated for the etymological origins.
While a variety of theories have been postulated for the etymological origins of Canada, the name is now accepted as coming from the St. Lawrence Iroquoian word kanata, meaning “village” or “settlement”. Wikipedia, “Canada”
Stress Diagnosis
Move new information toward the end of the sentence. [Context: In Cassandra database clusters…]
Since every node can service any request, there is no master, however data is distributed across the cluster so each node contains different data.
Data is distributed across the cluster so each node contains different data, but there is no master, as every node can service any request. Wikipedia, “Apache Cassandra”, edited slightly
In-Class Exercise
Rewrite this paragraph, keeping in mind the start and end of each sentence. [Context: performance of C++11.]
C++ has always had the concept of constant expressions. These are expressions such as 3+4 that will always yield the same results, at compile time and at run time. Constant expressions are optimization opportunities for compilers, and compilers frequently execute them at compile time and hardcode the results in the program.
Wikipedia, “C++11”
Step 1: what are the things that should be emphasized?
Creating Emphasis
Let's talk about some tricks to create emphasis.
Our general goal: move the part you want to emphasize to the right.
Creating Emphasis
The passive voice comes in handy again.
A primary key uniquely specifies a tuple within a table.Wikipedia, “Relational database”
A tuple within a table is uniquely specified by a primary key.
Roughly, the first one is about what a primary key does, and the second is about how tuples are specified.
Creating Emphasis
Several tricks can shift the subject a little to the right, thus emphasizing it a little. These shouldn't be used often: they're weirdly wordy. Occasional use can be handy.
A primary key uniquely specifies a tuple within a table.Wikipedia, “Relational database”
What a primary key does is specify a tuple within a table.
There is a primary key to uniquely specify a tuple within a table.
It is necessary to have a primary key to specify a tuple within a table.
Creating Emphasis
A not only… but also
construct can emphasize the last in a list.
Virtually all relational database systems use SQL as the language for querying and maintaining the database. Wikipedia, “Relational database”
Virtually all relational database systems use SQL as not only the language for querying, but also for maintaining the database.
Emphasis and Coherence
We should zoom-out again to look at whole paragraphs.
Emphasis in the first sentence can help set the topic for the whole paragraph. In longer and more complicated paragraphs, this is important as a mini-introduction to the ideas.
Emphasis and Coherence
Let's look again at the passage we considered for coherence. The topic and (my opinion of the) important part of of each sentence:
Rails is a web application development framework written in the Ruby language. It is designed to make programming web applications easier by making assumptions about what every developer needs to get started. It allows you to write less code while accomplishing more than many other languages and frameworks. Getting Started with Rails
Emphasis and Coherence
Rails is a web application development framework written in the Ruby language. It is designed to make programming web applications easier by making assumptions about what every developer needs to get started. It allows you to write less code while accomplishing more than many other languages and frameworks. Getting Started with Rails
Apparent paragraph topic: Rails and its design goals. The first sentence introduces some of that, but not all.
None of the important things are at the end of sentences. Each has some qualifier after it.
Emphasis and Coherence
Let's start with the first sentence.
Rails is a web application development framework written in the Ruby language. Getting Started with Rails
Can we sensibly introduce the whole paragraph topic?
Emphasis and Coherence
My attempts:
Rails is a web application development framework for Ruby that makes assumptions to make development easier.
Rails is a Ruby web application development framework designed to make your life easier.
Rails is a framework for writing Ruby web applications which is designed to make your life easier.
Emphasis and Coherence
That + reworking the other sentences to get the important part later:
Rails is a framework for writing Ruby web applications which is designed to make your life easier. Its design makes assumptions about what every developer needs, so it's easier to get started. Compared to many other languages and frameworks, Rails' assumptions allow you to write less code while accomplishing more.
Changes: broke up the big noun phrase and added topic intro (sentence 1). Get started
⇆ assumptions
(sentence 2). Moved qualifier to start (sentence 3).
Emphasis and Coherence
After applying the techniques from the last few topics…
- We have a coherent topic throughout the paragraph.
- Each sentence starts with something we already know about.
- Each sentence leaves the reader with the right takeaway message.